PRINCE Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
by Legendary Chocobo
Summary: Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of your very own, state-of-the-art PRINCE unit! To help you fully understand the capabilities and needs of your PRINCE unit, please read the following instructions and guidelines thoroughly.


**Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own 1/2 Prince, which belongs to its rightful owner whose name I currently cannot recall. I also don't own this Manual format. I haven't a clue who it DOES belong to, but thanks to him/her.**

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><p><strong>Congratulations<strong>! You are now the proud owner of your very own, state-of-the-art PRINCE unit, from the Virtual Edition of Second Life, Inc.'s units! Under your guidance, we are sure your PRINCE unit will prosper. To help you fully understand the capabilities and needs of your PRINCE unit, please read the following instructions and guidelines thoroughly:

**Basic Information **

_Product Name: _Prince._ Unit will also respond to: _The Blood Elf, Prince Charming, Your Highness_. However, the latter is not recommended unless you wish to be mistaken for a _GUILEASTOS_ unit and promptly beaten within an inch of your life._

_Sex: Your _PRINCE_ unit appears to be male, but has many feminine behaviors. Therefore, your _PRINCE_ unit's gender is unknown to anyone other than its creators and the _LOLIDRAGON_ unit. Until further notice, your _PRINCE_ unit will be referred to as 'he.'_

_Date of Manufacture: Year 2080 Anno Domini (A.D.)_

_Place of Manufacture: Second Life, Inc., Central Division_

_Height: 165 centimeters (1.65 meters)_

_Weight: Moderate (Unit does not allow this to be measured)_

_Length: Classified. Try asking a _LOLIDRAGON_ unit. For your safety, do NOT ask with your _PRINCE _unit in the near vicinity. Also for your safety, do NOT ask a _GUILEASTOS _unit or a _WICKED_ unit._

**Your PRINCE unit comes equipped with the following accessories:**

One (1) black Chinese dao

Three (3) sets of princely Warrior armor for everyday use

One (1) Blood Tiara

One (1) simple masquerade mask

One (1) plain robe for cloaking identity

One (1) cannibalistic, gender-confusing Meatbun pet

Be cautious when first opening the box containing your PRINCE unit. Upon release, your PRINCE unit will seem disoriented and will likely use violence to express his confusion and fear. It may be a good idea to have a WICKED, UGLY WOLF, or KENSHIN unit on hand when liberating your PRINCE unit. However, if none of these units are accessible to you at the time, the only other option is to pacify your PRINCE unit with food. While this would cause suspicion in more perceptive, less trusting units than a PRINCE unit, your PRINCE unit's love of food overrides any feeling of doubt.

**Programming**

The PRINCE unit is a cheerful, friendly unit who happens to have a passion for blood, gore, and good food. He has many talents and abilities and can come in very handy.

**Bodyguard**: Need some help with a bully or another aggressive ruffian? With mountainous strength, elflike agility, and powerful weapon, the PRINCE unit makes an intimidating foe. Before he even unsheathes his blade, your assailant will be running in the other direction. Whether this results from your PRINCE unit's daunting appearance, his threatening aura, or his vulgar and gory oral descriptions varies depending upon the situation.

**Vocalist: **Among his many other functions, the PRINCE unit also makes a good singer. His voice is light and airy, almost like that of a girl's, and is bound to please any audience set before him. Your PRINCE unit will certainly satisfy the spectators of any band he performs in. Beware of singer-obsessed or PRINCE-unit-obsessed fangirls.

**Olympic Runner**: The PRINCE unit is very much like an elf. This, of course, also applies to his speed and agility. Whether running in a simple race or being hunted down by creatures that want to squee, tear off his clothing, squee, and rape him, your PRINCE unit will outrun any human in the Olympics.  
>Note: Though the PRINCE unit tends to run faster when spurred on by dozens of screaming, stalker fangirlswolves, when it reaches the PRINCE unit that you were the one to sic the fangirls upon him, he will not be pleased. For safety reasons, please be sure to avoid discovery when releasing knowledge of your PRINCE unit's whereabouts to his fangirls.

**Horror Film Actor**: With your PRINCE unit's love of blood, gore, beheaded creatures, and anything to do with organs not being in their proper locations, he will be a great asset to any horror movie you sign him up for. You may wish to avoid horror stories with romantic accents, as any GUILEASTOS, WICKED, or ICE PHOENIX units aware of this information will react violently. (Second Life, Inc., is not responsible for any lawsuits caused by the ripping, shredding, or maiming of leading ladies of any film your PRINCE unit takes part in.)

**Your PRINCE unit is equipped with the following modes:**

Cheerful Dork (default)

Noble Gentleman

Blood Elf

Merciless (GUILEASTOS unit required)

Matchmaker (level one lock; WOLF and YULIAN or WICKED and FENG WU QING units required)

Wasted (requires alcohol. A _lot _of alcohol)

"Slash" (level two lock)

In his default mode, "Cheerful Dork," your PRINCE unit is happy and as carefree as a bird, just another dorky college student hanging out with his friends. While your PRINCE unit is in this mode (or any mode, really), do not allow him to roam too far from his usual environment, as the PRINCE unit has a terrible sense of direction. If your PRINCE unit is lost for this reason, Second Life, Inc., will not provide a refund.

In his "Noble Gentleman" mode, your PRINCE unit is certain to make ladies faint. Coupled with his good looks and high charisma, a PRINCE unit in this mode is highly dangerous to:

-Marriages  
>-The sanitywellbeing of the boyfriends of any member of the female specimen that your PRINCE unit speaks to, looks at, or breathes in the direction of.  
>-Anemic fangirls.<p>

This mode is usually seen when a PRINCE unit is trying to woo a girl for a greater cause, such as saving them from loving evil Celestials named Fan.

Your PRINCE unit enters his "Blood Elf" mode whenever he fights someone or something. In this mode, your PRINCE unit may scare small children or the elderly due to his bloodlust and cold, emotionless demeanor. This mode is not for any with weak hearts or stomachs. Warning: Second Life, Inc., again is not responsible for the unfortunate slicing, beheading, or absolute maiming of any who get in the way of your PRINCE unit while he is in this mode. Second Life, Inc., is also not liable for bloodstains left on the clothes of your PRINCE unit or his victims, nor the devastation of the surrounding area.

Your PRINCE unit's "Merciless" mode requires a GUILEASTOS unit, as stated above. Your PRINCE unit enters this mode whenever a GUILEASTOS unit fangirls over your PRINCE unit. To know when a GUILEASTOS unit is about to marvel over your PRINCE unit's gentlemanliness, his prowess in battle, his looks, or any other feature concerning your PRINCE unit, refer to a GUILEASTOS Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual. If your PRINCE unit maims yours or another's GUILEASTOS unit beyond recognition, be sure to send the GUILEASTOS unit back to us with his Proof of Purchase and your GUILEASTOS unit will be replaced for no cost to you, the proud owner! (Plus Shipping and Handling.)

As earlier stated, your PRINCE unit has many feminine qualities. Among these would be his love of "Matchmaking." In this mode, usually triggered by an UGLY WOLF unit and YULIAN unit or a WICKED unit and a FENG WU QING unit meeting (though other pairings are possible, depending on the situation), your PRINCE unit concocts harebrained schemes for getting to two involved 'together.' Before your PRINCE unit can enter this mode, he must be in "Cheerful Dork" mode.

Your PRINCE unit's "Wasted" mode is unlocked by copious amounts of alcohol. During this mode, your PRINCE unit's sense of direction worsens, and he may do many irrational things that he likely won't remember after he reverts to one of his other modes. A PRINCE unit in "Wasted" mode can be dangerous and unpredictable, but often quite amusing. Let your PRINCE unit enter "Wasted" mode at your own risk.

"Slash" mode is the most difficult to achieve out of all your PRINCE unit's modes. While in this mode, your PRINCE unit will openly favor the male specimen over the female. To unlock your PRINCE unit's "Slash" mode, two requirements must be met: First, your PRINCE unit must be in "Wasted" mode. Second, "Slash" mode can only be achieved when your PRINCE unit is interacting with either a GUILEASTOS unit, a WICKED unit, a KENSHIN unit, a NAN GONG ZUI unit, or a FENG WU QING unit. While in "Wasted" mode and in the presence of one of these units, there is a chance that your PRINCE unit will enter "Slash" mode. Depending on the unit with whom your PRINCE unit unlocks his "Slash" mode, his affections may or may not be returned. It is more likely, however, if the other unit is also in his "Slash" mode. To learn how to enable "Slash" mode in units such as those listed above, refer to their individual Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manuals. The amount of time your unit spends in "Slash" mode is different each occasion, but it is possible for a relationship between your PRINCE unit and his chosen lover to blossom even after your PRINCE unit has left "Slash" mode.

**Relationship with Other Units:**

FENG WU QING: A playboy who looks oddly similar to your PRINCE unit, if only in facial structure. Your PRINCE unit and the FENG WU QING unit's relationship is similar to one between siblings. The two can be seen arguing every so often, but do not panic if your PRINCE unit becomes violent with a FENG WU QING unit, as this is completely normal. Typically, your PRINCE unit's violent tendencies are unleashed upon FENG WU QING units when they make perverted comments, woo ladies, or, oddly enough, mention cooking or hunger.

GUILEASTOS: A bard infatuated with your PRINCE unit. The GUILEASTOS unit will constantly shower your PRINCE unit with compliments, to which your PRINCE unit will most likely respond with a fist. If your PRINCE unit pounds your GUILEASTOS unit into a bloody pulp, your GUILEASTOS unit may experience some disorientation, but will survive unless, as previously mentioned, 'maimed beyond recognition.'

WICKED: A calm, collected dark-elf warrior. Your PRINCE unit looks up to WICKED units, and may be seen going to this unit for advice or comfort. The two units seem to have known each other for a long time. WICKED units may become oddly protective over PRINCE units, especially when a GUILEASTOS unit is involved. It is not recommended to own both a GUILEASTOS unit and a WICKED unit at the same time, unless you wish to see rather humorous arguments pop up between the two.

NAN GONG ZUI: A human with an intricate tattoo on one side of his face. Your PRINCE unit and the NAN GONG ZUI unit are like old war-buddies. They are not very close, but enjoy a drink now and then. The NAN GONG ZUI unit may also owe the PRINCE unit an important debt, though what this debt is, no one knows.

UGLY WOLF: A sagely wolf priest. Your PRINCE unit looks up to the UGLY WOLF unit, and the two share a far more brotherly relationship than that of your PRINCE unit and FENG WU QING units. The PRINCE unit may come to the UGLY WOLF unit for advice when it is needed, and often calls the UGLY WOLF unit "Wolf-dage."

LOLIDRAGON: A busty elfin thief who seems to enjoy tormenting your PRINCE unit. Despite how it may sound, and despite all the yelling your PRINCE unit may do, it's all in good humor. As a side note, LOLIDRAGON units seem much less surprised by your PRINCE unit's more feminine traits than other units. Perhaps she knows something most don't?

DOLL: A small, necromancing girl who is oddly innocent and wise at the same time. The DOLL unit treats the PRINCE unit less like a prince than her own personal slave. Despite this, your PRINCE unit's motherly instincts cause him to treat the DOLL unit like his own little sister. The DOLL unit even goes as far as to call him "Prince-gege."

YULIAN: A somewhat demonic human who almost scares your PRINCE unit more than his fangirls. The YULIAN unit can be rather motherly for both your PRINCE unit and the rest of the group, but she's more of a penny-pincher than the head of Second Life, Inc. She may, however, help you reconcile your bank statements…for a price.

**Cleaning: **Your PRINCE unit, as an upstanding citizen of Infinite City, is quite capable of cleaning himself – though if you wish, you may offer to help him. It is reccomended that your PRINCE unit uses a brand of shampoo that will allow his hair to retain its shine but also removes most traces of blood and gore, and a conditioner that keeps his hair as silky as it should be.

However, your PRINCE unit may be disoriented after delivery, and unable to figure out how he should relieve his bladder. If you have a WICKED or FENG WU QING unit on hand, it may be best to ask them to explain the process to your PRINCE unit. If not, you may be able to help your PRINCE unit yourself.

**Energy: **Your PRINCE unit is an elf with a large appetite. He will eat large amounts of food, which will then be taken through his digestive system, absorbed through the small intestines, distributed through his blood, and converted into energy by the mitochondria within his cells; but what this large amount of food is, your PRINCE unit is not very particular about. His Meatbun pet, however, will only eat meatbuns, and a copious amount at that.

**Frequently Asked Questions:**

**Q: **My PRINCE unit keeps maiming my GUILEASTOS unit every time the poor guy tries to be nice to him! How do I make him stop?

**A: **Beating a GUILEASTOS unit up is usually a sign that your PRINCE unit is happy and content. This is completely normal for these two units, and getting them to stop these antics would be like trying to break a bar of titanium with your own two hands anyway. However, if you wish to keep your PRINCE unit from _completely _desecrating your GUILEASTOS unit, we suggest getting your PRINCE unit into "Slash" mode. For further information on "Slash" mode, refer to the **Modes** section above.

**Q: **Um, there's something wrong here….Instead of a smexy, white haired elf with gorgeous red eyes, I got a violent, black-haired girl…

**A**: It seems you've been sent the wrong unit. What you have there is a patented FENG XIAO LAN unit, part of the Reality edition of Second Life's units. On one hand, _you now have your very own FENG XIAO LAN unit_! Due to the higher-up's strange, incomprehensible decisions, consumers who buy units from one edition (i.e. Virtual edition) may not purchase units from another edition (i.e. Reality edition), so if you have units from Second Life's Virtual edition, you may just want to keep your FENG XIAO LAN unit and see what happens. But on the other hand, if you would rather have a deliciously sexy Blood Elf than a FENG XIAO LAN unit, we understand. If you will call the number for Customer Service, we will replace your FENG XIAO LAN unit with a PRINCE unit as soon as possible, free of charge! (Plus Shipping and Handling.)

**Q: **Why is his hair white? I thought he was only, like, a teenager! OHMIGOD I DON'T WANT AN OLD MAN UNIIIIIT!

**A:** The PRINCE unit's hair is naturally that color…. It is not a sign of his age…He _is _an elf, after all…*sweatdrop*

**Troubleshooting**

**Problem: **Your PRINCE unit's fangirls are outside your house, looking vaguely reminiscent of starving wolves.

**Solution: **We wish you good luck! (Second Life, Inc., is not liable for any damage caused to you or your home in the event of a fangirl attack. If, however, your PRINCE unit is permanently damaged during said attack, we will provide a consolation product free of charge.)

**Problem: **You gave your PRINCE unit some alcohol and left him alone for a while. You haven't seen him for a week.

**Solution: **We did warn you about the PRINCE unit's Wasted mode. Where he is now is not our problem. However, you may want to check with some KENSHIN or SUNSHINE units.

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><p>With proper care and maintenance, your PRINCE will live a full and happy life while staying under your roof. His warranty is good through any number of untimely fatal accidents, unless said accident occurs due to murder by the DICTATOR OF LIFE unit or said unit's minions: email the provided address and the Second Life, Inc.'s PILLAR OF LIGHT PROGRAM will come and fix your Blood Elf warrior right up! Good luck, and enjoy your PRINCE unit!<p> 


End file.
